Right now, we are in the process of moving. Granted, we are just moving a few miles down the road, but it will keep me closer to school and give us a nice apartment complex and neighbors, which we don’t have right now.
Why am I talking about this? Great question. While we have been in the process of moving over the last month or so, I have noticed some lessons about life and marriage that I hope you relate to as well.
Break it down
When we decided, less than a month ago, that we wanted to move, it seemed really daunting. Even though we have just been married a year and a half, we have never moved and have accumulated some stuff along the way.
While at first we were a little concerned because I am still in school and we have a new baby, we decided that little by little, we would pack a box here and a box there, so that when the time came we wouldn’t have that much to do.
The same applies in life and marriage. If you can figure out ways to take your big goals and turn them into smaller goals, they become more manageable. Rather than having one large goal of moving all our stuff, we made a goal to pack a box every few days, which has led to us (almost) completing our large goal.
There’s more than one way to pack a box
I have spent a lot of time helping people move. Like, a seemingly ridiculous amount of time. During my two years as a volunteer for my church, I dedicated a LOT of time to helping others move.
Over that two years, and in other moves I have helped in, I have seen many different ways to pack a box. I have seen people color code their boxes, label them as to what room they are going to, and others have literally thrown things into random boxes (pro tip: don’t ever do that).
Just as there are people who prefer packing one way or the other, spouses have opinions, and those opinions might at times seem to oppose one another. When something like this happens (and it will), do your best to find common ground.
Finding common ground with those you care about is easier than you think. For example, lets pretend a couple have different methods of cleaning the house. One spouse enjoys cleaning every day, twenty minutes at a time, while the other waits until Saturday and cleans all at one time, taking about two hours. In this situation, the couple can find common ground in that they enjoy the house being clean. The can agree that it needs to be cleaned weekly. Other than these agreements, what else is important? Is it possible for each spouse to do their own style of cleaning, and work together without physically working together? Probably.
Make time to find common ground and understand that their beliefs and habits make them who they are. They are a product of their upbringing, and different is not always bad. Who knows, you might learn something along the way.
Change can be a really good thing
I want to say this the right way. Doing something new does not automatically make everything you have done before bad or subpar. The apartment we are moving out of has been perfect for us the last year and a half. It has created opportunities for us and friendships for us that we will never forget.
That being said, life is not a static event. It is full of change and motion. Needs and wants evolve, and change is the process through which we fulfill those. Don’t be afraid of change, sometimes it is the best thing for us.
To sum it all up, break down your decisions to make them more manageable, don’t reject an idea just because it wasn’t yours, and change is sometimes the best thing for us.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some boxes to pack.